In the Weeds Today

Day 6 of Covid isolation for our family has been a good opportunity to get out in the garden and pull out some of the weeds that have sprung up after so much rain. And it’s got me thinking about what weeds are growing in my life and, in particular, in my mind. 

You see, just as the soil of the garden can grow good plants or weeds, so too our minds can produce helpful thoughts that support us to live well or they can just as easily (if not more easily!) grow a crop that is unhelpful.

For me, the weeds sound something like ….

If only I could….

I wish that….

Why can't they just….

I’m really looking forward to when….

I don't understand why they have to be like this instead of that …

These thoughts take up space and use up the soil in our minds in the same way that the weeds I’ve been pulling out are doing in the garden.

What to do about it?

First, notice what our mental chatter is saying.  We can put it through the same ‘THINK’ filter we use for our words -

T - Is it True?

H - Is it Helpful?

I - Is it Inspiring?

N - Is it Necessary (to say, or think about)?

K - Is it Kind?

Second, it helps to take responsibility for what’s going on in our minds because we can change things. Although lots of thoughts may pop into our head, we can choose which ones we let set up camp and stay. 

Thirdly, we can notice the themes. For me, today, the first theme is a lack of acceptance. We’ve been home all week, nerves are frayed, people are bored, homework needs to be done that no one wants to do, and generally things are feeling like a grind. But circumstances are rarely ‘ideal’. (In fact, I’m not sure where any of us ever get the idea that they should be!), and people don't always (or even often) behave the way I’d like. I can use up a lot of emotional energy (and often do) wanting things to be different.

Theme two (flowing out of the first one) is judgment. As soon as we go into judgment and decide that someone is behaving in a way that they shouldn't or that isn't warranted, we close down our ability to understand them. Instead, today, I can step back, accept things and choose ways of responding that are effective based on how my people are right now. 

So, how’s your garden (not the literal one!)? What’s circling in your mind today, and is it helpful or a weed that you could do without?

I'd love to know whether I’m the only one who could use some gardening today…